Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Did ya miss me?

After SEVERAL comments about being a MAJOR SLACKER when it comes to blogging, I've decided to write...something! I know that you don't want excuses, just witty stories and the occasional "Duh--did she really do that?!" kinds of anecdotes, so I will try not to disappoint. I do, however, have to tell you that my computer at home has a few HUNDRED nasty viruses, and I'm patiently waiting for my tax return to hit my bank account so I can afford to get it fixed. That's just ONE of the reasons for the lack of blogging...which I find extremely legitimate! (But, Meghan my BFF, I WILL come over and drink that "icky" Bud Light that is chilling in your beer fridge. I wouldn't want you to get sick from drinking that "nasty" deliciousness. Let me pack a snack and I'll head out to WEST Omaha--STAT.)
So, in an attempt to get back into your good graces and hopefully make you laugh, I decided to tell you all an embarrassing story about yours truly. Most of you have heard the following story, but I thought I'd share it with the masses-- LOL, sometimes I like to flatter myself by thinking lots of people read this--hahahaha. Anywho, this is a little story from about two weeks ago that I like to call:
"The Treadmill Hates you, So Just Go Home" --ENJOY!
I went to the gym at 5:30 this morning to run because I’m getting my hair cut tonight and won't have a chance to go afterward. As you probably know, I'm not a morning person. Not at all. But, I knew that I had to go in this morning, otherwise it would throw off my training schedule.
I’m running on the treadmill, and my wispy hair is getting in my face. Because of the lovely scratched corneas I've been dealing with for two weeks now, I’m wearing my glasses, which are not fun to wear, let alone try to work out in them. My headphones are plugged into the machine so things are just distracting and everywhere. Well, I go to “gracefully” get my hair out of my face (yep, start laughing now) and my entire body shifts. I end up stepping (with my right foot) onto the side part of the treadmill that isn’t moving, and my left foot obviously can’t keep up with the speed of the treadmill all by itself so the left side of my body starts to lose balance, and go ‘back’ (the direction of the treadmill). I try to regain balance and stride and get my right foot back onto the treadmill, but by then it’s too late, the treadmill is taking control. This “whoa whoa whoa” sort of a noise comes out of my mouth, my arms are flailing, trying to regain balance. I continue to slide completely off of the treadmill, sideways, and onto the floor---all the while my headphones are still attached to the base of the machine, and on my head.
Luckily, I didn’t ever fall on my knees or rear or anything like that, but still embarrassing, nonetheless…Also, keep in mind that it’s 5:45 a.m. so I’m not at my most awake moment as is, but then this happens. And of course, the gym is pretty darn full with all of the 'regular' morning over-achievers.
One of the funniest parts of the whole experience was the reaction from the girl on the treadmill next to me. She was obviously a runner. By that I mean, skinny, had all of the 'gear' and she was farting...pretty much the entire time. BTW, farting is a serious problem at the gym. People do it at the most inappropriate times too…like when you’re in a crowded kickboxing class with no air movement. The worst is the skinny runners—because you know they fill their bodies with that organic stuff and we all know what that does to the digestive system!! So as I'm losing major control of what is happening on the treadmill, and "gracefully" land on my feet after getting thrown off, the smelly farting girl next to me says something like “wow, that was crazy!” and keeps right on running! WTF?! I expected her to maybe say "Are you okay?" or "Don't worry that happens to me all the time!" (I would say something like that to make someone feel better, but apparently, she wasn't in the empathetic mood.)
After collecting myself, I get back on the treadmill (which never stopped) and start running again, pretty much laughing the rest of the time I’m on there. After, my ankle felt a little raw, but nothing a few dozen aspirin and some ice won't take care of, right?
I found this cip on Youtube and although it isn't what happened to me (this girl looks like she's had a few cold beverages), it's super funny!

Sorry if this is a repeat for some of you. I have other stories, but just thought that you would enjoy this one, and it would hold you over for now. I promise to be better about blogging. I have tons of pictures and plenty of stories to tell, so stay tuned!


Bridge said...

hilarious! i missed your blogs so much Val, don't stay away so long. oh and i feel compelled to tell you not to spend your tax refund on a stupid over-priced computer geek to take a few viruses off your computer. let me do it for free! e-mail me...

The Wannabe Redhead said...

I could kiss you, Bridge... ;)

Anne said...

Ohmigod, this post gave me the giggles...I'm glad you're all right, of course. :)

(And it's about freakin' time...glad you're back!)